Homeschooling is like learning to swim. You get good at it by doing it. As much as you wish you could be good at it before you start doing it, that’s just not how it works. You’ll make many mistakes—plan on it, and use them—to learn and improve, not to shame yourself. Mistakes don’t determine your experience or ultimate success.
Your experience will be determined in part by the temperature of the water, but mostly it’s your desire to learn and the support you line up for yourself that matter.
Your success will be inevitable as long as you don’t quit.
As for the temperature of the water, this usually is not something you have much control over. Some pools are warm and inviting. Others are a shock. But even if the water’s not as warm as you like, you can trust that your body will adapt. And if you want to learn, you’re willing to experience the discomfort.
Your desire to learn is the most important. If you don’t want to swim, how likely are you to try it? And if you do try it, but do it against your will, how quickly will you learn? How much will you enjoy it?
If you’re overcome by fear and anxiety, you’re going to have a tough time putting on your suit. A tough time getting in the water. A tough time trusting your teacher. And it’s understandable. Why would someone put their head underwater willingly if they don’t know if or how it’ll come back up again?
So number one, decide for yourself if you’re going to do this. Number two, get clear on your reason why. Number three, make sure you like that reason.
Then, only then, can you get to peace.
Once you’re there, all that’s left is to begin.
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If you’re swimming, you need a pool full of water, a swimming suit, and a towel. Sunscreen and goggles are big plusses. This is the setup. In homeschooling it might be the books, the curriculum, the pencils and paper and chalkboard and desk….or whatever the tools and environment are that you need for your style of homeschooling. Oh, and don’t forget the children. You’ll need at least one of those. But simply gathering these things together doesn’t magically teach you how to homeschool. You can dive in and sink or swim. Some people learn this way, through trial and error, without much help. That’s how I started. It took a long time. And it was hard.
If you’re smarter than I was, you’ll do these three things:
Line up a teacher. Not just someone who’s been doing this longer than you, but someone who can explain it. Someone who remembers what it’s like to be a beginner, and can guide you through. A mentor who inspires you.
Get a life coach. Just like a life guard, if you’re scared or unskilled and out of your depth, she can spot it and pull you out of danger and into safety. She’s trained for this. She’s calm and qualified and can see the big picture. She’ll help you.
Lastly, make sure you’ve got a friend or two. Learning to swim doesn’t have to be miserable. Knowing you’re not alone can make all the difference.
When it comes to homeschooling, you might feel alone at first. But if you look around, you’ll discover you’re surrounded by friends. There’s no shortage of homeschool co-ops, nature groups, and community resources. If you can’t find a group, you can start one! But you don’t have to do the group thing if that’s not your style or reality right now—all you really need is to find one person you know who’s chosen the same path for educating her kids, and spend some time with her. You can bounce ideas off of each other, share the tips and resources you’re discovering, and cry on each other’s shoulders. Trust me. You’ll need to.
As for a teacher, make sure you get one with experience, and a style and demeanor that you’re drawn to. Watch the way she treats her students. Watch the way she “swims” in her own homeschool. And see how you feel when she talks about it. Is she passionate? Is she bored? Is she militant? Is she flexible? Watch her. Learn from her. Above all, ask for lessons! I really underutilized my mentors when I was learning to homeschool, probably out of fear or shame. This was a mistake. People are happy to help, but they need to know you want it!
As for a coach, I highly recommend someone who’s been trained by The Life Coach School, or has other training that gives them concrete tools, processes, and frameworks that make your time together productive. You need someone who can teach you how to deal with emotions, how to set and reach goals, and how to look at your life in a way that reveals all your options to you.
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I’m a homeschool mentor and coach. To me, those are different skill sets. As a mentor, I’m like the swim teacher. I’ve learned, studied, and practiced. After more than a decade of parenting and homeschooling my five kids, I’m proficient, and I’m pretty good at teaching it. I can show you how I homeschool and why. I can help you avoid pitfalls and teach you strategies to move things along. I’m passionate about what I do, I love doing it, and I can help inspire you to catch the vision, get started, and keep going.
As a coach, I am trained to teach you two skills that are the whole ballgame when it comes to homeschool success, regardless of the method, approach, or style of homeschooling you’re going for. The skills are: what to do with negative emotion, and how to achieve your goals. I have tools and processes in place to do this in a structured way. And I’m watchful and can see where you’re drowning and use my tools and processes to pull you back out. I’d be honored to be your coach and take an objective look at your life and what you want, and help you figure out how to get it.
Your fears might feel new to you, but they are not new to me. You can learn to put them in their proper place so they don’t sabotage your homeschooling. You’re not the first person to choose to homeschool. It’s actually a beautiful, well-trodden path. You need a coach and mentor to guide you through it (I volunteer). You need to see others doing it (get a friend), and consider that they might even be enjoying it. And then you need to look inside yourself and believe that maybe, somewhere, somehow, you might be able to do learn to do it—even enjoy it—one day.